The best tutorial to ruin your websiteEveryday, I come across tutorials to create a good website and there are a lot of advice to improve you search engine rankings. But everyday, I can see how many websites are built with a bad structure. Thus, I have decided to give you a good tutorial to ruin your Website.

1 –  At the beginning, use a nice program like Dreamweaver and use the automatic functions as much as you can.

2 – Use as much as possible a table structure with a lot of tr, td, tbody tags and different sizes.

3 – Use tags such as br, nbsp or font size but do not use h1,h2 and p tag.

4 – For titles, use blink effect.

5 – For your website navigation, use menu with 9 or 10 sublevels. That’s fun and people love to take hours to search what they need.

6 – Create at least 4 or 5 tables inside a main table to have a complex structure and forget CSS.

7 – Use frames for headers and footers.

8 – Never compress your pictures. Do not hesitate to use natural .PNG and .BMP to illustrate your website.

9 – Use Flash Objects and javascripts, especially for your navigation. That’s good for search engine optimization and accessibility.

10 – Do not hesitate to create some pages, even if they are « under construction ».

11 – Never validate your website with W3C tool. The small Validator icon is horrible.

12 – Create cloaked pages with a lot of contents.

13 – Try to have at least 200 links per page.

14 – Each page must have a weight between 102ko and 350ko.

15 – Put in as much banner ads as you can on your page.

16 – If you have important links on your website, use « Click here » for your link name. That’s a good method to draw attention (particularly Google, Msn and Yahoo).

17 – Fill as much as possible the Meta Keywords tag (at lease 100 words)

18 – Write a story in your Meta Description (around 30 lines)

19 – On your footer, you have to write a links salad. This is good for search engine optimization. Just write 40-60 links with different colours. If one link is dead, you don’t have to change it. The link will eventually resuscitate one day…

20 – For SEO, use very competitive keywords. This is good for your site and it will be easy to rank well.

21 – Use farm linking and submit your site to 100 directories each day.

Note : these tips should not be taken seriously :)

Arnaud Mangasaryan